One more thing! I want to give a shout out to my Fort Mcmurray Family!!!! I got your pictures this week!!!!!!!!! You seriously made me so happy! haha ( thanks franny for putting that all together) Here's a picture of me with it before study this morning haha so just ignore my morning clothes :P. BUT seriously! I love you guys so much!! <3 <3 Thank you for all your constant support!
Okay now for the missionary stuff! Last night we had a dinner appointment with one of our investigators and we ate SO much so even now I feel like I'm about to burst. haha It was super good tho. I should get Rachael to just start a separate blog to tell about all the food I eat here and post pictures of it. Seriously I don't think I ever am going to want to eat american food again.
Like I mentioned I am studying the Christ like attributes in the back of chaper 6 of PMG. Today the attribute I studied was #2 "I feel confident that God loves me" - (1 Nephi 11:17- And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things.) I thought that was perfect for the lesson I learnt this week! If I am sure of anything in my life it is that God really does love me. Entirely, my whole imperfect self, on my good days and especially on my bad days. Sometimes I don't understand how He can continue to love us when we continually let him down and fall short - but like Nephi - I don't know the meaning of all things... I just know his love is perfect, I can't comprehend it exactly but I feel it. More than I am sure of anything else in my entire life I know that God loves all of us perfectly. Each day I spend learning of my Savior through this service I am slowly starting to understand what his love must be like. I feel his love for each person I see on the street, my investigators, the members, but especially the other missionaries I work with each day. I know what these missionaries are going through each day and have experienced first hand how challenging the mission can be sometimes. When I see others struggle or having a hard time my heart just goes out to them, I feel for them a portion of the love that God has for each one of us. We aren't perfect- but when I look at these other missionaries trying their best each day, and continually falling short, but then picking themselves up the next day and trying again I see a perfect missionary. Too often we get down on our selves because of our weaknesses and forget about our strengths. It breaks my heart when others don't see themselves the way I see them, they can't see the strong amazing example they are to all those around them because they are so focused on their inadequacy's. ( and I'm SO guilty of this). I am only starting to really understand that God sees us perfectly. He doesn't expect us to be perfect, he knows that we aren't capable to perfection right now. He's not asking perfection, hes simply just asking us to keep going, to strive everyday to be better, to lift those around you and to be happy for goodness sake!!! :D Life is full of so many opportunities and tender mercies, God wants us to be happy. I think too often it's easy to forget that.
Sometimes people look at Missionary's like we are crazy haha. I had the experience this week where a man I was teaching just couldn't wrap his head around why in the world I would give up 1 1/2 years of my life to just live this boring redundant life day after day. I told him a little bit about what I did before the mission, and my love for traveling and experiencing life- and he was just completely shocked that I would give up all that. He asked how much personal time we get on the mission, and I said" we'll we have 6 hours on p-day, but that is usually spent doing weekly e-mails, letters and shopping". He looked at me like a was crazy. I bore my testimony to him, but he just laughed at me like I was insane and kept saying" I don't believe you", " I know how much you love life, you don't want to be here". The more we talked the less convinced he seemed but the stronger my testimony grew for my desire to be here on a mission. It's a funny thing, and isn't really logical- but I really would give up any chance I've ever had to travel or experience everything I had to serve. There is something indescribable about the blessings and joy that comes through feelings God's love so strong for you the way I feel as a missionary. I feel him working through me to touch the lives of those around me. Each day is hard, I'm changing more and more than is comfortable hahah. But I think thats the point- This mission is supposed to change us. It's supposed to re Aline our desires and show us what really is important in life.
In our Zone Conference this week the Ap's talked about Hamsters that really applied to this experience I had earlier in the week lol. They explained the life of a Hamster, how all they do is eat, sleep, and run on their wheel. Day after day they keep eating, sleeping and running. Why? He does the same thing every day until he dies. He then explained the life of a missionary- We get up at 6:30 every day, Go to be at 10:30. Study every morning, and proselyte every day until 9pm. Some times it feels like the life of a Hamster. Knocking on another door, or walking up and down the same streets, being rejected by another person.
Then he asked, Why? are you a hamster? (I don't know why but this silly example just hit home for me) He then said" YOUR NOT A HAMSTER! YOUR A DISCIPLE OF JESUS CHRIST. You have a desire. Your have a purpose. If you ever feel like a hamster remember the feeling you had when you decided to serve a mission. Ask yourselves- Why are you here? Whats driving you? What is your desire?"
There are so many reasons I am serving a mission, like usually I don't have adequate time to write them all out. But I know that Gods loves each and every one of us. I see these people everyday on the streets and feel a love and desire to share with them the happiness and indescribable joy and peace that simple knowledge has brought into my life and I want to share it with them.
My challenge for everyone this week is to ask yourself - What is your desire? What is driving you? What is your purpose? I promise you that those hard days where you are tried of doing the same thing over and over again, or fulfilling your calling and working the the same challenges of the week before, or challenges of parenting or family relationships. Step back for a moment and remember why your doing what your doing? I promise you that if you can find that desire deep down- you found the joy. You found the key.
I testify that God lives and he loves you!
( I love you too ^^ <3 )
LOVE YOUR MISSIONARY,
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